


Dance With You

by kodathewel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel is a ray of sunshine, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Dean Winchester Swears, Dean Winchester is too hard on himself, Dean pretty much worships Castiel, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, M/M, Openly Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Prom, Repressed Bisexual Dean Winchester, but he has internalized biphobia, ish because their relationship is a secret, no beta we die like dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27938318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kodathewel/pseuds/kodathewel
Summary: Dean was not a greedy person. He really wasn’t. But watching his boyfriend dance with every single person in the prom - everyone, except him -, just makes him wish for... more.Even though he could have more. Even though the only reason why he doesn't have it, it's himself.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 111





	Dance With You

**Author's Note:**

> hi so hmmmm that's my first fic in english?? i'm not native and that's not my first language, so please be gentle about that hahahaha, i'm really trying my best
> 
> also, kinda inspired by broadway's musical "the prom"?? i dunno i didnt actually thought about it when i created the story but right now their song "dance with you" is playing in my head and it matches SO WELL with the plot so yeah that's gonna be the title and also thank you the prom???
> 
> anyway, enjoy!!!

"Hey." he heard Sam's voice when the younger Winchester finally sits down at the table, smiling happily. "Where's Cas?"

Dean wishes he didn't know. The music at the gym was incredibly loud, something that Dean was used to - he was the one that kept the volume up in his car at all times -, but tonight, it just seemed to bother him. Everything tonight was bothering him. And he had no one but himself to blame for.

He could play dumb and say that he doesn't even know why he's here. Even with him being a well-known face by the whole high school, that doesn't mean that Dean Winchester is the social butterfly type - oh no, that was Cas. Dean was just the jerk that just happens to have a handsome face and be good at football and was popular for that. But if he could choose, he would send all these people, all these self-called _"his friends"_ , to Hell. It was a feeling that he struggled with for a while - he really thought that he should adore the fact that he was adored, his father taught him that -, but now, he at least has the guts to accept that he hated being popular. He always hated attention.

But anyway, yeah, he could play dumb and say that. That he doesn't know why he came to this prom, why he's in that stupid tuxedo, why he's faking a smile and greeting all these teenagers that he doesn't know and that just love him without even knowing him. Yeah, he could say that - but it would be a lie. A big one. Because he knows exactly why he's here. 

And his reason is out there, having the time of his life, while he's here, sitting at a table at the back of the gym, trying to hide in the shadows.

"Oh, he's still dancing!?" Sam followed Deans' eyes at the center of that stupid dance floor, the excitement in his voice being bigger than Dean's mood during the whole week. "Can you believe it!? It's been hours! The guy is non-stop! I tried to catch with him a few times but, damn, he's like a machine. And also there's like, a hundred people around him. I'm not even sure if he saw me."

Dean wouldn't be surprised if he didn't - Castiel was surrounded by people. Nothing new because, well, Cas was _always_ surrounded by people. That was one of the reasons for their little-to-no fights: Cas was always so gentle and sweet to everyone in the school, and Dean didn't like that. Not because he was always with someone, but because he knew that these someones were never good people. And Castiel... Cas was just _too good_ for people. Always was. Too good for everyone.

But that didn't stop him from being just a ray of sunshine and delight to everyone, with made pretty much everybody falls in love with him. And honestly, Dean couldn't blame them - he fell too.

And right now, Cas was at his most beautiful moment ever. Castiel Novak was just... fuck, he was just _glowing._ In the middle of that dance flor, doing stupid and funny moves, nothing serious, nothing professional, just moving his body like the adorable dork that he was - he was smiling the whole time because when he's not smiling? But this time was different. He was just so happy, making jokes and laughing out loud at everything, letting everyone come next to him and dance together, letting himself be tired from all the movements. 

His dark hair was a mess by now, his suit also messed-up, the face sweaty, the incredibly blue eyes almost reflecting at all that unnecessary neon light in the gym. He was handsome. He was magical, he was incredible. Jesus fucking Christ, he was a fucking _angel._

And he was _his._ He belongs entirely, body and soul, heart and mind, to Dean Winchester. Cas knew that, Dean knew that.

But nobody else knew that.

"Hey," Sam called again and Dean looked at him, not a word yet spoken. "what's wrong?"

_I don't know, something about my secret boyfriend dancing with everybody in this fucking prom, except for me, because I'm a fucking monster who is ashamed of being with the most incredible person in the world, it's just not making me very happy._

"Nah." that's all he says. "Not really in a party mood."

"Yeah, I know. You have not been in a party mood for the last two weeks." Sam said. "People even asked me why you didn't bring anyone as a date tonight."

Yeah, because that's the reputation he has: a fucking womanizer. Not because he loves women, no - that came the fact that he doesn't love _only_ women. But hey, this is Kansas, he's 17-years-old and still lives with his fucked-up abusive alcoholic homophobic father and a dead mom. He could _not_ love more than just women. So he overcompensates.

Even now that he's with Cas, he still finds himself flirting with random girls in the hallway whenever someone makes an innocent joke about his and his best friend's closeness. He could catch the look in Cas's eyes the few times that he sees it - just a glitch, a very quick and painful one - and he hates himself for it. He hates himself all the fucking time. Because he wishes, and he tries, but he knows that he can't give Cas what he really deserves. I mean... shit, the little fucker deserved the whole goddammit world. And Dean could only give him the pain of being attached to someone not out yet.

Maybe they should've stayed best friends. _Just_ best friends. He, Cas, and Sam were this trio for how long? Four, five years? Dean never thought he needed anything more - he had his one-year-younger-than-him brother and his 12-year-old best friend by his side. Sam was smart like he could never and Castiel smiled like the sun and he didn't need anything else. Sure, he was still unwanted, unloved, and badly raised, but he had his boys. It was enough.

And then puberty hit them like a train - especially Cas. Fucking Cas. His eyes became shinier, his body became fitter, his voice went deep as the damn sea. He also became taller, handsome, charming, and then, he became so... _gay._ Yeah, unapologetic gay. Fifteen and already out for the whole goddamit school, no shame, no doubts, just him being him.

And yeah, it was trash at the beginning - Dean never punched so many guys in such few breaks -, but people got used to it until they pretty much just accept it. Because Cas was so incredibly perfect that everyone (even fucking _Kansas people)_ would put away their prejudice just to love him.

And then Dean loved him too. And he tried to keep as a secret, but Cas was just so smart - and when his colorful smile showed up, asking the beautiful _"Do you... want to?"_ at their first almost-kiss, Dean just couldn't say no. How could anyone say no to him? Cas always gets what he wants.

Dean wishes it was as this easy for him. But Dean was never the perfect sweet angel that Castiel was. 

"I'm just not in the mood." he finally answered, wishing he could have a beer in his hand. "Where's your date?"

"What do you think? She's dancing with Cas, of course." he smiled. "Why is Cas so happy tonight, anyway?"

He wanted to understand as well. There were no reasons for him to be this happy: Cas's boyfriend (Dean himself) kept him as a secret so he would have to go to the prom alone, not once dance with him, not once smile affectionately at him, not once kiss him. Maybe, if he was still in the mood, he would definitely get a make-out session at Dean's car at the end of the night - but that was it. Simple kisses, maybe a quick fuck, in the dark, away from everybody else. Even Dean was ashamed of that.

But Cas was so fucking supportive and understandable that Dean didn't get it. He never once asked Dean to the prom, even with him obviously wanting to. He never once wished for something out loud that he knew Dean wasn't ready for - he did not once have an argument with him about they being a couple for _one year and a half,_ and, still, a secret. He just... understood. He understood things that even the Winchester was not entirely sure of what it was. He was happy for being with Dean, even though it was in the most humiliating way, even though he could have so much better. He just accepted, and smile, and went dancing with all the other students, unbothered. Dean didn't know why Cas kept himself in this situation.

And every time that he asks, Cas gives him the most beautiful smile in the world, whispering a _"because I love you"_ with his deep voice at his ear, and Dean wants to cry. Because he loves him too, but even after all this time, he hasn't once _said it._ After all, what would his father think if he, out loud, said that he loves a man?

But he loves. He loves him _so much,_ so much that Cas probably doesn't even know. Dean was always good at hiding his feelings, and maybe Cas thinks that this is just a high school sweetheart thing or whatever - maybe he thinks that Deans thinks that too. But it's not. Because, God, he loves Castiel Novak so fucking much that it _hurts._ It hurts not being able to hold his hands, take him away from all these people, and dance a stupid love song with him.

Even though he's the only reason why he can't do such a thing.

"Dean." even with the music being so loud, Sam almost whispers the words by his side, carefully. "Why don't you... I mean..."

Dean turns his face to him, watching his expression, feeling the fear growing inside of him. Did Sam...? He never actually told Sam, because he never actually told anyone - fuck, he never said the word _bisexual_ out loud. He also never told anyone, including his brother, that he is madly in love with his best friend Castiel. And, well, Sam was always the smart one - maybe he knew. And Dean didn't know how to feel about it.

Sam opens his mouth, not sure what to say, and in the end, doesn't say anything. Dean wants him to. Because if even his baby brother is not okay with him being with Cas... maybe he really shouldn't. Maybe the voice of his father in his head saying that this was _fucking disgusting_ was right. Maybe...

"He's a really great guy." that's what Sam says, in the end. "He's like... romcom really great guy. Like YA fantasy novels really great guy. Just... _really."_

Dean nods with his head. 

"He really is." _and I don't deserve it._

"And he's also a very lucky guy."

Dean frowned. "Why?"

"Because he has you," he said, and Dean's heart skipped a beat. "and you, Dean, you are... you are the best guy in the whole world."

"I'm not," he says in an instinct. 

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are. I know it, and Cas sure as Hell knows it too."

"Sammy..."

"I just..." he stopped for a moment, and sighed, tired. "I just wished you could... you know."

 _I just wished you could be straight._ "What?"

"I don't know. I just wished you didn't think of dad so much."

That was a surprise. So... Sam knew. He knew what it was and, most of all things, _why_ it was. He knew Dean and Cas had something, he knew Dean wasn't straight - and he was okay. He was, right? He... he seemed okay. At the best, he seemed worried. Worried _for_ Dean, not about him.

"I..." he started, and it took a while to continue, finishing in a dry laugh. "Guess he messed me up real bad, uh?"

Sam laughed too, but it was far away from happy. The Winchesters have some affection to laugh at their own disgrace.

"Same for me," Sam said. "Hey, at least you give a shit about cars. You're his favorite."

"At least you have good grades. _You_ are his favorite."

"At least you're popular."

"At least you're straight."

And then Sam laughs, so dry as, but somehow, finding comfort in their pain. Dean is happy. His brother is the best thing in the whole world - he and Cas were the whole world to him. If only he could hold both of his worlds without feeling so _dirty..._

"Just be careful, okay?" it's what he says. "I love you, and I support you, and if you're not ready to take this step yet, that's completely okay. But... I also need to be honest with you."

Dean looked at him, waiting.

"Yeah?"

"It's okay if you're not ready for it. It's really, really, _really_ okay. But, honestly... just... be smart." he said. "Someone like Cas? Yeah. I wouldn't risk losing it. And I know it's really up to you, so just... I don't know. Keep that in mind, I guess?"

Sam was really trying his very best to not push Dean or anything that might make him feel bad for taking his time, but in the end, the oldest brother just smiled. For the first time that night, he just... smiled. Because his brother loved him and supported him, and he has a boyfriend that does the same - that is willing to wait because of how much he felt the same. And that... that's just fucking great, no? 

_Shut the fuck up, dad,_ he says to the voice in his head that it's already starting to call him a _fucking homosexual._ So, yeah, he was. He really, really, really was. And even though he doesn't think he's ready to say that out loud yet... hey, at least he's capable of accepting it internally. He knows that... it's okay. To love women and man, to love both, to love Cas. It's alright, right? Yeah. Maybe it really was.

"Yeah. I'll keep that in mind." Dean said with a smile, seeing Sam's date coming in his direction. "Hey, your girl is coming, go have fun."

"Yeah, sure, you too, man."

"And... you know."

"Hum?"

"You know."

"What?"

"Just..." Dean took a deep breath and in a single moment of courage, smiled again. "Thanks."

And Sammy smiled back because that motherfucker was the best guy in the world. 

"It's just what brothers do, man."

Dean watched as he left, going close to his date and hugging her in a smile, and suddenly he just really wanted to hug Cas. Nothing new because he always wants to hug him and, when they are alone, they do it all the time. When in the middle of the night Dean comes to his house and climbs his window like fucking Romeo, he lays down in Cas's bed and does not let him go until it's morning and he needs to come back home. He feels the warmth of his body, the way he sleeps so quietly in his arms, the smell of his stupid strawberry shampoo - because of course, Castiel Novak smells like strawberry. He loves those tiny moments more than anything, and he just wishes he could have it right now.

But he doesn't say anything because Cas looks happy, so he just stays here, on that plastic table, looking around, drinking soda, and waiting. He follows as the prom starts to end, everybody slowly going home, the screams and laughs and music being quietly over. At some point, even Sam goes home, which left just Dean, Cas, some girl that Cas was dancing with, and a very filthy gym floor, confetti and sweat all over it.

And after what looked like an eternity, the girl finally goes away, waving a smiley goodbye to Cas while closing the gym door. And just like that, here they were - alone. Just Dean and Cas, no one else. And it feels almost like a dream to finally be able to get close to the other.

"Hey," Dean said, coming next to him on that empty dance floor. "had a good time?"

Cas looked almost embarrassed, trying to clean his own face with some napkins, not once a smile letting his face. He looked even more perfect right there, so close to Dean.

"I'm sorry. I know you didn't even want to be here, but April was so sad about her date, and I just wanted to make her happy until she leaves." yeah, that looks like a Cas thing to do. "But I guess she took her time with that... I'm sorry Dean."

Dean just smiled, unbothered.

"It's alright, angel. Glad you enjoyed." he said, and Cas's smile only grows more. How that's even possible?

"I'm honestly surprised you stayed for so long." he doesn't say in a bad way, but that doesn't stop Dean from feeling like an ass. "Come one, let's get a Taco Bell special for you. It's your prom too and you deserve something good for tonight."

He holds Dean's hand and tries to pull him away from the dance floor, but the Winchester didn't move a muscle. He just... it's that what Cas think? That he had nothing good tonight? That tonight was, what, a waste, and that Dean was dragged here by the other? That was not true. Sure, the night was nothing like he wanted to, but he's not this annoyed grumpy person - at least, not all times.

But Cas thought that and it wasn't his fault. Dean was very bad with words, and Cas accepted everything that the other offered him. Even with him deserving... more.

"Dean?" Cas asked, softly. "Is everything okay?"

Maybe he could just stop whining about himself. Yeah, Castiel deserved way better, and honestly, it was even weird that Dean was so fucked-up and still gets to be with the prince at the end of the story, but it's not like it's something bad. I mean, when you find lost money in the street, don't you take it? It is luck, dumb luck, and you don't deserve it, but you take it anyway because you have the opportunity. And Cas... Cas was the greatest opportunity ever handed to Dean.

And yeah, he doesn't deserve him right now, but... maybe he will, eventually? Maybe he will become the guy that deserves to hold and kiss the best boy in the world. He just needs to try - a little bit harder than he already is.

"I..." he started, Cas glowing eyes looking at him, their hands still connected, the empty gym looking almost scary without all the lights. "I just... why were you so happy tonight?"

Cas wasn't expecting that. He stopped for a moment, eyes looking away, confused, almost like he didn't know the answer. Maybe he didn't. Maybe tonight he was just a little bit more Castiel than normally.

"I don't really know. I just was." he sighs. "Tonight was our prom, and then it's pretty much over. Like... the whole high school thing. It's over. And it's not like it was something actually bad, but... I don't know. Just feels good to know that, from now on, I'm gonna be able to choose what subjects to study for."

Dean smiled. He thought about that too - the end of high school, Sam and Cas going away to college, himself going away for whatever job he can find, moving away from his father's house... yeah. Guess Cas had a good reason to be so damn happy tonight.

"Yeah... yeah, that does feel pretty good." he smiled again, looking to their hands, and letting a sigh go. "Look, Cas, I... I'm sorry."

Cas grew confused. "About what?"

"Just... tonight, I guess," Dean said. "I know that you wanted me to take you to the prom."

They didn't say anything. Dean knew they were safe in that empty gym, but right now, Cas's gaze was enough to make him want to hide.

"I didn't want you to do anything, Dean." he said, so softly as a spring breeze. "I just want you to be comfortable, at all times. You don't need to worry about me, you know that."

"You're my boyfriend, of course I worry about you." how many times has Dean said 'boyfriend' out loud? Not many. "Look, angel, I just wanna make sure that you are... you know."

"You keep saying 'you know' without people actually knowing things."

"I just want you to... you know. To be happy." geez, that's cheese. "Like... in this. In this... relationship. I know how much you give things up for me while I don't give anything back, and I just... shit, I don't know? I guess I just don't want you to be miserable."

Dean felt like an actor in a bad TV show with a horrible script because, damn, that was bad, but at least he was trying. Fuck, he was trying his very best here.

"But I'm with you." he said, almost innocently. "How could I be miserable?"

And Dean wanted to scream because, fuck!, Cas was obviously not getting the point. Couldn't he see it? Couldn't he see that Dean was holding him back and that he didn't need to be afraid to say so if that's how he feels? Dean was trying to talk about feelings - which he never does - but with Cas, everything was so... _easy._ He made everything look so easy, and that was so... so...

Comforting.

So Dean just came close to him and hugged him - tight. How could he not? Castiel was an angel, yeah. But he was _his_ angel. And he was the luckiest man alive for that.

"Dean" Cas called, hugging him back, head rested in his shoulder. "I know. I know what you're talking about - and it's okay. I'm here. And as long as you're trying as hard as you're right now, I'm gonna keep staying here."

Dean was taller than Cas, bigger than Cas, stronger than Cas - still, he was holding the boy as if his life was on it. He was just so fucking scared, like a little girl, and Cas was just so assured... he didn't know why, but if Cas told him he would stay, Dean knew that he would.

"I still don't get why, but I'll take it anyway." he said, in a laugh, and he could almost hear Cas smile.

" _Because I love you."_ the same voice, the same words, the same feeling - Cas would always say that. And maybe, it was Dean's turn to do so.

"Yeah... I know, angel." he whispered, staying quiet for a moment, hiding in Cas's neck while trying to get the words out. "I love you, too."

He could feel the way Cas's body shook under him, almost like he wasn't expecting it, almost like it was something he never dared to think about. Dean wondered why he didn't say it before - it felt _amazing._ It felt fucking right, even more when Cas just hold him even tighter.

"Say it again." he whispered, weak. "If... If you can, of course."

Dean laughed.

"I love you."

"... once again?"

"I love you."

"Just... last time."

Dean let him go a little, holding his handsome face with both hands like it was the most precious thing he had ever touched. It probably was. Cas was more precious than gold. His thin lips, his big eyes, his manly face, his messy hair, his now hopeful expression... he was everything to Dean. _Everything._

"I love you, Castiel Novak." he said. "Like a fucking love story, like a fucking Soap Opera character, like a fucking fool. Yeah. Like that."

And when Cas's eyes started to glow in that so common and sweet way, Dean just didn't give a fuck anymore. He touched his lips with the other, and like always, it was the best thing he could have done. Kissing Cas was always the smartest choice. There was only one thing that was better than kissing Cas - getting fucked by Cas. But, hey, they could do that after all this.

"Still, sorry for not being able to dance with you." Dean said when they split, Cas smiling so soft and so quietly that made him happy too. "You looked like you were really into that."

Cas laughed happily, loudly, but in the end, he looked like he had an idea. Then he picked up his own phone, open up the Spotify app, and Dean knew what he was thinking.

"Chose a song, any song." he said, giving the phone to Dean, but warning first: "Just not Led Zeppelin, I _beg_ you."

The other rolled his eyes, but in the end, he just picked up an already ready playlist for slow dances, which only made Cas laugh even loud. Dean's hands went down to Cas's hips, and Cas's hands went all the way to Dean's neck, and it felt right. It always does. He spent the whole night wishing that he could have the guts to dance with Cas like that, together, in front of everyone, but right now - right now he knows, that this is the best way. Not only because no one was looking, but because it was just the two of them. And that was enough.

Even though he stepped in Cas's feet like four times during just one song, it was okay. It was enough. And one day, he would be able to dance in front of everyone, and hold his hand, and kiss him, and called him his boyfriend openly and unashamed. Maybe not now, maybe not here, maybe not in this fucked-up town - but he would, one day. He knew he would. And also, he knew that Cas would be there with him when this day came, so it was alright. Everything would be alright.

And just like that, looking into Cas's sparkling blue eyes, touching his warm body, and dancing to some cheese horrible slow song, he realized that this time, he actually believed that.


End file.
